Sex + Relationships

Long Distance Relationships: Love vs. Miles

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By: Molly Velaquez-Brown

Being away from your significant other for an extended period of time is one of the most difficult things you can put your heart through. When you find a person you want to be in a relationship with, they are generally your partner, best friend, and lover, which makes the distance in long distance relationships difficult handle.

Luckily, with facetiming, snapchatting, instagraming, and other ways to stay in touch, the miles can feel a little smaller. But nothing quite compares to being able to hug, kiss, and cuddle the one you love. As someone who is currently in a long distance relationship, I can personally attest to how hard it is. The miles between you and your partner can leave you feeling lonely, sad, and worrying if your relationship will last. But if your love is real, it will prevail one way or another. Here are some tips to help keep your relationship happy, healthy, and loving even if you and your partner are a plane ride away!


Set Specific Dates!

Make sure you both set aside time to watch a movie, have a meal, or do something together via skype, facetime, or phone call. Having dates, even if they cannot be in person, is important! There is no replacement for quality time with the person you love. Movie dates can be especially fun for long term long distance couples. Get on facetime, pick a movie you both like on Netflix, start it at the same time, and cuddle up in bed. You might be surprised how much closer it makes you feel to your partner even from miles away.

Say Good Morning and Good Night!

A simple “good morning” or “good night” text or call can mean the world. Reminding your partner that they are on your mind when you wake up and before you go to sleep is very impactful. Plus, who doesn’t love waking up in the morning to a sweet “good morning” text? Best way to start the day! This one is especially important for couples who are long distance with a time difference. When you’re on very different schedule,s being reminded that your partner thinks of you at the beginning and end of their day can make you feel more confident and secure in your relationship.

Random Acts of Love

An unexpected cute text, sending flowers, a sweet card, or even just an Instagram post can really brighten up your partner’s day and remind them how important they are to you. It really is the little things that matter most. Big gifts and gestures of affection are great, but they can’t happen every day and you shouldn’t have to wait for holidays or birthdays to show your partner how much you care!

Just Be in Each Other’s Presence

Even if you are busy writing papers, studying for a test, or making dinner,  just having your partner quietly around can be impactful. You can both do your own thing, but just having them on facetime or a phone call can make you feel closer. We take for granted the time we spend just hanging out, which is something that is generally lacking in long distance relationships. Honestly, while writing this article I’m facetiming with my boyfriend! We aren’t really talking, (he’s binge watching BuzzFeed videos) but just having him around and hearing his laugh while I work makes us feel closer.

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Sex + Relationships

LGBT Blogger of the Week: 5 LGBT Friendly Netflix Movies: Watched, Rated, and Critiqued!

 

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By: Megan Bloomfield

Though we are all in the midst of finals preparation, semester break is just on the horizon. It’s so close you can almost taste it. Whether you are looking for something to watch during your study breaks (because let’s face it, you can’t always have your head in a book!) or looking ahead on that much needed “down time” that you will have during winter break, these movies, as good or as bad as they may be, are some fun ways to past the time. They are even a great distraction from the annoying drunk conversations your family is bound to have during the holiday season about politics, world peace, and (of course), your sexuality. We all know it’s true, so you’re going to want a way to relax and unwind after hearing your mom drunkenly tell her girlfriends that “ohh, dontt even worryyr. Its inlyy a phase!!!” So here are some movies to make this weekend just a little bit more entertaining!

  1. Another Gay Movie

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 61%

My Rating: 40%

Summary: This movie is so stupid that it can almost pass for entertaining. Basically, it is the gay version of “American Pie.” It is about four boys who want to lose their “gay” virginity before they graduate, but are miserably failing. The movie is vulgar, disgusting, and borderline illegal. However, it is slightly romantic, and if you have a glass of wine with you, I have a fun game you can play! For every time they copy “American Pie,” you have to take a sip 😉

  1. GBF (Gay Best Friend)

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 82%

My Rating: 64%

Summary: Alright. So, this movie isn’t that great, but it’s extremely entertaining. It is about this boy who ends up getting “outed” in high school by his best friend, and instead of it ruining his life like he thought it would, he ended up becoming the most popular kid, having everyone try to claim him as their token “Gay Best Friend.” There’s much more to it, as any high school related movie has, but you’re going to have to watch to find out!

  1. Jenny’s Wedding

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 14% (Ouch)

My Rating: 65%

Summary: Okay, Rotten Tomatoes, relax. The acting may not be that great, but they had good intentions! Plus, Katherine Heigl as a lesbian?! Are you kidding?! That’s an automatic +50 points in my book. She’s such a sensitive actress and you can see how much she feels in her work. Having said that, not her best movie. The story is that Jenny (Katherine Heigl) is getting married to a woman, but her family does not know that she is marrying a woman. It’s filled with emotion and passion, just very blasé in my opinion. But, nonetheless, I am biased because of Katherine Heigl.

  1. Elena Undone

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 65%

My Rating: 70%

Summary: What can I say? I’m a sucker for a straight-girl gay-girl love story. Having said that, this one wasn’t good enough to break the top 2. It is a story of a straight married woman who finds her soulmate… but it isn’t her husband! (If you can’t tell yet, I’m trying my best not to spoil any of these movies for you. I know. I’m pretty great.)

  1. All About E

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 29%

My rating: 72%

Summary: I don’t know what it is, but something about this movie just really plays with my heart strings. It’s such an abstract story, about a girl who ruined her one true love in her life because she doesn’t know what she’s doing with her life, and in an attempt to make something of herself, she ends up in trouble and has to fix it.

  1. Blue is the Warmest Color

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 85%

My Rating: 89%

Summary: I have one thing to say about this movie: Wow. This movie is absolutely beautiful. And though critics may disagree, my favorite part is the ending (Go find out why!). It is just so different from every other movie, and the emotion in it is so powerful. It is the story of a young high school girl who falls in love with someone a little bit outside of what she’s used to, but their journey is absolutely unbelievable.

I hope you find the time to watch at least one of these, and let me know what you think of my ratings! Good luck with the next few weeks, and don’t forget your glass (bottle) of wine! It makes any movie better!

Sex + Relationships

7 Reasons You Should Be Having More Sex

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We’ve all heard the excuses. “I’m too busy”, “Sorry I’m too stressed”, or “I just feel like cuddling with [insert name of pet here]” are only some of the excuses that are used to avoid sex. It is perfectly okay to utilize these every once in a while. However, if you are actively trying to put sex aside, here are 7 reasons that might make you reconsider before you slip into your PJ’s tonight by yourself! With these reasons, you’ll practically be jumping at the chance to jump into bed.

The Orgasm 

Having the big O releases the bonding hormone oxytocin, which promotes a feeling of well-being and happiness.

Lessens the risk of certain diseases 

Frequent sex is great for men and women. Studies show that having sex leads to a lower risk of hypertension in women which is a common precursor to heart disease. A study conducted by the American Urological Association showed that men over 18 years who ejaculate at least monthly may be less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer later in life.

No gym, no problem 

It is okay if you skipped on going to the gym today because sex is practically a mini workout! Studies have shown that sex helps burn about 150 calories an hour.

“Natural” Advil

Sex is shown to lessen pain even if you are too tired to climax. Studies have found that stimulation without an orgasm can help reduce menstrual cramps, chronic back and leg pain, and migraines.

Less forgetful in your fifties 

If you are planning to have great memory for the rest of your life, then having more sex can help you achieve that goal. According to a study published by Oxford University, older men and women who had more sex were better at word recall than those who had less sex.

Better Sleep

Sex helps improve sleep quality if you are too restless to sleep at night. After an orgasm, the hormones prolactin and serotonin are released which help in making you feel relaxed.

Improved mental health 

Studies have shown men and women who have intercourse with their partners have greater satisfaction with their mental health. Sex can lower stress and anxiety by releasing different kinds of hormones that can help with depression.

By: Nicole Pal

Sex + Relationships

Swipe Right for Romance: How College Kids Feel About Tinder

shutterstock_371573932In today’s digital age, face-to-face interaction has become a rarity. From Facebooking friends, emailing coworkers, or simply scrolling through Buzzfeed to find out which Starbucks drink we are, we are constantly connected online. So,where else would we look for a casual hookup buddy, friend with benefit, or even potential relationship?

Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and other online dating apps have swept the nation over the last four years as their popularity has increased, especially among young adults and college kids. The front runner for these apps is by far Tinder, with an estimated 50 million users on the app. If you are looking to find the love of your life anywhere online, there is a good chance they’re “swiping right” right now. On average ,  Tinder user spend about 35 minutes on the app a day.

With this in mind, that means that when your profile pops up, your potential prospectives aren’t spending much time debating whether to “yay” or “nay” you. which gives you probably all of a few seconds to impress and entice others to swipe right on you. We interviewed some Syracuse students about Tinder dating and have some experiences, opinions, and advice on Tinder from users just like yourself trying to find love (or maybe just some late night fun) online.


What are students looking for on Tinder?

Females:

  • “I go on tinder with the intention of using it for dating and never for a random hookup, but sometimes it becomes that.”
  • “Honestly, sometimes I just go on when I’m drunk to hookup. It’s usually not the best idea.”
  • “ I have used it just to get free food or coffee on a date before, sometimes you have to do what you have to do when you’re hungry and on a college budget.”

Males:

  • “Main use is a personal thing, to see how well I can do based on my own personal standards. Only once I’ve used it to actually hook up with someone.”
  • “I have used Tinder to invite people to parties but that is infrequent.”
  • “Really only use Tinder when I’m drunk as f***, usually nothing comes out of it but sometimes I hookup with a girl.”

 


How many matches are you making?

Females: On average roughly between 600-1,500 matches.

Males: On average roughly between 100-300 matches


What does an ideal Tinder profile look like?

Females:

  • Not too many pictures ,and the pictures need to be clear about whose profile it is, at least 2 solo shots and 1 group shot.
  • Nothing weird, try not to be naked or in compromising positions.
  • Don’t try too hard. Don’t be holding a puppy shirtless with all your muscles out.
  • Be your best self but don’t lie.

Males:

  • Have multiple photos.
  • Individual photos are better so you know who it is, but a few group photos are alright.
  • A funny or witty bio is a must. It makes it easier to start a conversation if there is something to go off.
  • Multiple mutual friends make difference, much more likely to swipe right if it seems like this is someone they may know.

What pictures are a turn on?

Females:

  • Guys who look good in suits is always a nice thing to see.
  • A nice headshot is a great thing to see. Showcase the smile and eyes.
  • Full body picture that shows off how you dress on a day to day basis.

Males:

  • A good smile goes a long way.
  • Anything America themed, especially an American flag bikini.
  • Having a picture of how you dress when you’re going out with your friends.

What is a turn-off?

Females:

  • Refrain from posing with dead fish or animals; save those “interesting” pictures for a few dates in if the other person is interested.
  • Blurry or distorted pictures, don’t make yourself look sketchy!
  • Keep it PG. Don’t use any headless body shots on your profile. As much as you think we want to see “everything god gave you”, we don’t.

Males:

  • Any photos of holding a fish or dead animals, not appealing (seems to be a common theme?)
  • Nothing “trashy” (i.e. overly nude, explicit or rude), because it makes us wonder why that is what you want to show off when you are on a semi-anonymous, very public platform.
  • Only having super close up pictures or selfies.

How do you communicate what you’re looking for with a Tinder match?

Females:

  • “We talk first on tinder and when it moves to text, ask “What are you looking for?” If they want the same thing, we’ll go on a date, if not, I stop talking to them and move on.”
  • “Hint to them in a flirty way what I’m looking for while we Tinder message and hope they pick up on it.”
  • “Start the conversation on Tinder with what I’m looking for; why waste either of our time.”

Males:

  • “If conversation is going well I will ask to meet in a social setting where we can meet in person, maybe a party so we can see how we get along, and also there’s no pressure of a 1 on 1 situation.”
  • “Just ask if they’re trying to hookup. It’s pretty clear what I’m looking for after that.”
  • “Let them lead the conversation and see if they drop any hints about what they want so I don’t have to bring it up and be awkward.”

 

So there’s a little insight into what guys and girls are thinking while they’re swiping on Tinder. Go ahead and check out your own profile and make sure you are keeping up with Tinder etiquette so you can get the maximum right swipes possible. Who knows, your next match could be your soulmate or best one night stand so far. Be safe, be happy, and be kind and keep on swiping Cuse.

By: Molly Velázquez

 

 

Sex + Relationships

Staying True to Yourself in a Relationship

While it is said that opposites attract, successful couples have overlapping values and qualities that make the relationship work. It is extremely important that there is a reciprocated amount of give and take in any relationship, whether it’s romantic or simply a friendship. Why waste your time defending someone who doesn’t bother to go to the same lengths for you? Finding a balance through compromise is important, but don’t be afraid to stand up for your happiness and the things that are important to you. Solidify the things that you value the most, and decide beforehand what is and is not comprisable.

Important aspects to keep in mind:

Maintain your independence. Over the years, I’ve watched countless friends end up in relationships where they progressively become attached to the hip with their partners. If you are in a stable, loving relationship, you should be able to live life outside of that relationship. This means having the independence to attend events alone, to be able to hang out with friends without texting or obsessing over your boyfriend or girlfriend, and making important life decisions based on what you Yes, it is important to compromise, but when it comes down to it, your significant other should never stop you from being the best possible version of yourself that you can be. In fact, your significant other should bring the best out in you, and inspire you to try new things. The healthiest kind of relationships push one another outside of their comfort zones and shape each other into stronger, more open-minded people.

Don’t ditch your friends. To elaborate further, I cannot stress enough how important it is to maintain strong relationships with your friends if you are in a relationship. Don’t be that person who is so dependent on their significant other that they can’t call a friend one-on-one to hang out. Make it a point to call up your friends on a regular basis whether it’s for a quick cup of coffee or a night out.

Trust. If you do not trust your significant other to go out to a party without hooking up with someone else, you need to do some serious re-evaluating in your relationship. Ladies, if you ever let your partner dictate what you’re “allowed” to wear or who you can be friends with, please take a step back and consider your happiness. Are you doing these things solely to make him/her happy or are you doing these things for you? Please understand that you have the power to make choices independently.

 

By Sarah Kinzler

Sex + Relationships

17 Fabulous Holiday Date Ideas

Heat up your relationship this winter with some fun, easy date ideas that are sure to melt away those winter blues. Holidays: 1. Cook together – this opens the door to more opportunities. Whether you feed his family, donate food to those in need, or have a romantic dinner for two, cooking almost always brings people… Continue reading 17 Fabulous Holiday Date Ideas

Sex + Relationships · Student Life

Making Time for Your Relationship

College can seem to be one big balancing act. As a student, you need to juggle schoolwork, clubs, going out, and to top it off, being in a relationship. With so much on your plate, maintaining a relationship can seem nearly impossible at times. However, there are ways to overcome that feeling of despair. You… Continue reading Making Time for Your Relationship

Sex + Relationships · Student Life

Going the Distance

There is a question that plagues every couple knowing that they will have to part soon: can we do long-distance? While Hollywood has made successful, heartfelt, and hopeful long distance relationship movies that inspire every couple, the answer is not so clear in real life. In reality, most relationships have obstacles that are only amplified… Continue reading Going the Distance

Sex + Relationships

Tips to Prevent an Awkward Date

After Valentine’s Day there are probably plenty of new sets of lovebirds around campus. Whether you’re in the awkward getting-to-know-you stage or transitioning from a friendship into a relationship, there’s bound to be some awkward moments between you and your new beaux. To alleviate that awkwardness or even to avoid it altogether, follow these tips… Continue reading Tips to Prevent an Awkward Date

General Health · Sex + Relationships

Make Your Valentine’s Day a Bit Sweeter

Cupcakes and chocolate may taste even sweeter this Valentine’s Day if you’re in love. A recent study shows that people who wrote about a personal experience of love before eating different types of candies ranked sour and bitter candies as sweeter than those who wrote about an experience where they felt jealousy. Even water tasted sweeter… Continue reading Make Your Valentine’s Day a Bit Sweeter

Sex + Relationships

Social Media and Technology: Good or Bad for Your Relationship?

We all know that social media and technology are some of the basic forms of communication in our culture today.  They make it easy to keep in touch with loved ones all over the world.  However, while this makes it easier to keep relationships up, is it hurting them at the same time? Say someone… Continue reading Social Media and Technology: Good or Bad for Your Relationship?

Sex + Relationships

How to Know When it’s Really Love

We all know that guys aren’t the best with sharing their emotions, and sometimes they leave us women hanging with the question dangling over our heads —  “does he love me?” Guys can be weird sometimes and it can often be hard to read them. For me personally, I have been stuck on this road before,… Continue reading How to Know When it’s Really Love

Sex + Relationships · Student Life

Coupons on a Date: Savvy or Stingy?

It is a known fact that college students are stingy at times. But because our frugalness stems from trying to fund an education, we have a valid excuse. However, when it comes to a first date, is it acceptable to be couponing — using coupons to save a buck or two? An increasing number of… Continue reading Coupons on a Date: Savvy or Stingy?

Sex + Relationships · Student Life

Hooking Up vs. Looking for Love

Some students may be under the impression that college is all about hooking-up. If you were virginal and innocent in high school, you most likely aren’t after your first month or two at SU. It’s hard to ignore the rumors and whispers about who hooked up with who at what party, and of course the… Continue reading Hooking Up vs. Looking for Love

Eat Smart · Feel Great · General Health · Sex + Relationships

Why Losing Weight Could Mean Losing Love

Losing weight can be a wonderful thing, instilling self-confidence and a better self-image. Yet studies have shown it can be harming if you are in a relationship. Though seemingly contradictory, read below to learn why it might just not be. The study was conducted using 21 couples who dated over 2 years. In that time,… Continue reading Why Losing Weight Could Mean Losing Love

Sex + Relationships

Are You Ready to Be Friends With an Ex?

Breaking up is never easy, but remaining friends with your ex may be even harder. Now obviously there are varying reasons why people end their relationships. But whatever the reason, the heartbreaker’s common response is “let’s stay friends.” The question to ask yourself, whether you’re the dumper or the dumped, is to step back and… Continue reading Are You Ready to Be Friends With an Ex?

Sex + Relationships · Student Life

SU Sorority Brings Ideas of Sexual Health and Education to Campus

This Tuesday, the women of Omega Phi Beta played off the popular MTV show Girl Code, and brought the discussion of hyper-sexuality and sexual health to the SU campus with their Girl Code: Hyper Sexuality event. The event was part of OPB’s Serving and Educating Week: First Love Yourself. This weeklong event focuses on mental,… Continue reading SU Sorority Brings Ideas of Sexual Health and Education to Campus

Feel Great · Fitness · Sex + Relationships

Partner Yoga: It’s Yogasmic

Sensing a little disconnect with your partner? Want to get a little closer, but not comfortable enough to plunge into a Kama Sutra pose? Here, I present you with a playful and effective way to build trust and balance in your relationship. Think: partner yoga. According to Susan Walsh, PsyD, who recently launched a partner… Continue reading Partner Yoga: It’s Yogasmic

Sex + Relationships · Student Life

Keep Your Relationship Fresh

When you’re in a relationship for a long time, it’s easy to fall into a slump. While it’s great to be comfortable with your significant other, there comes a point where you almost become too comfortable. Just because you have settled into your ways does not mean your relationship needs to become boring. It’s crucial… Continue reading Keep Your Relationship Fresh

General Health · Sex + Relationships · Student Life

Don’t Kill My (Sex) Drive

It’s only natural for the human body to want sex. Countless studies prove the act to be an effective way to shed calories, strengthen your immune system, and even reduce depression and pump up your mood. However, it is also natural for there to be some days where you have no physical desire to have… Continue reading Don’t Kill My (Sex) Drive

Sex + Relationships

Dos and Don’ts of Friends with Benefits

In college, it is inevitable that you will have at least one friend that you are more than friends with. You’re not in a relationship, but you’re clearly not just friends. These friends with benefits can be rewarding, but at the same time can lead to some sticky situations. So how do you keep the… Continue reading Dos and Don’ts of Friends with Benefits

Sex + Relationships

Syracuse University’s Magical Matchmaker

Ever taken a walk around campus and noticed the single bench nestled between Tolley and Hall of Languages? Instead of a typical wooden frame, this bench is uniquely made of gray stone. Known as the kissing bench around SU, it has been a traditional landmark on campus since its construction in 1912. Since then, the… Continue reading Syracuse University’s Magical Matchmaker

Sex + Relationships

More Time Apart, More Sex

Who isn’t trying to improve their sex life with their significant other? I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “distance makes the heart grow fonder,” and according to a recent survey, it’s true. The survey, completed in the United Kingdom, proved that couples who spend at least one night apart a month, have sex more frequently… Continue reading More Time Apart, More Sex