Congratulations! You have successfully accepted that you like the same sex! Bravo! You are comfortable with your sexuality, you are happy with who you are, and now you’re ready to start dating… Oh. Crap. I don’t know how to do that! Who am I looking for? Why can’t I find anyone? How do I ask someone out? Do they ask me out? HELP ME!!!!
Okay. First of all, take a breath. This is not something scary! There is no reason to fear finally embracing who you are, and I can guarantee that you will meet people just like you. Having said that, finding other LGBT people isn’t that easy, because unfortunately, there aren’t many people walking around with a name tag saying “Hi, my name is ____, and my sexual orientation is ____. I couldn’t agree more that assuming everyone is straight is an annoying stereotype, however that’s the reality of our world. BUT there’s someone out there for you, so let’s go find them!
Figure Out What You Like
First, establish your “type.” Do you like a certain eye color? Hair color? Body type? Age? Religion? What kind of personality? Set a standard for yourself before you search. Don’t settle for someone you aren’t attracted to just because they are gay like you! Dating isn’t fun if you are with a great person you aren’t attracted to, or with the most beautiful human ever with the personality of a lampshade. This goes for everybody looking to date out there, both gay and straight, because how are you going to be with someone you don’t actually enjoy being around?
Invest in the Dating Apps
It is the 21st century. If you do not have a dating app on your phone, you are doing something wrong! They are the BEST way to meet the LGBT community around you, because you can set specific preferences for who you are looking for on them. For ladies, we have HER. For men, they have Grindr. But what about Tinder and Bumble? You can actually set your sexual orientation to only have men and/or women pop up, depending on what you want! I understand if you still get weirded out by “online dating,” but would it really hurt to try? In this day in age, almost all college students—and all people for that matter— use electronics for communication; why not use it to find the love of your life?!
Don’t Feel You Have to Fit a Stereotype!
There is no specific “role” you have to play in your community. You do not have to be “pitcher or catcher” or “bitch or butch.” If you like someone, ask them out. If someone likes you and maybe you failed to see it or just got nervous, they will ask you out. The worst they/you could say is “no.” And that’s perfectly okay! Rejection is an important and necessary process of dating in general, because it is a way for you to find yourself and the love of your life. Yeah, sure, it hurts, but it is just giving you the opportunity to find somebody who DOES want to date you later on in life. If you are someone who is more comfortable being a follower instead of a leader, just make it a fair game. If you like someone, flirt with them. You don’t have to jump the gun and ask them to marry you, but at least give them a chance to see you’re interested. That way, you won’t be disappointed and they won’t be having constant migraines trying to figure your brain out.
Wow! You’re on your first “Gay Date!” No, this is where I am going to let you go. Only YOU can decide who is right for you. My job was to simply guide you to the “Rainbow Brick Road.” However, remember this: you have your standard set, you have your confidence up, and you know what you are looking for, so accomplish your goal! Ask the right questions, be charming, and just know that if you get rejected, there is someone else. There could always be someone else. And at the end of the day, dating is dating. It is terrifying for every sex, but it is also possible for every sex to find their true love. I wish you the best of luck. Fly free, my little Unicorn!
By: Megan Bloomfield