Being a lesbian who is comfortable in her own skin has introduced me to many interesting people. But I have to say, my favorite interactions have to be with those who do not know what it’s like to be a lesbian. Many of these are based off movie scenes and pop culture, which clearly isn’t always accurate, or simply the stereotypical questions that pop into people’s heads. So you can imagine how “fun” it is to answer these questions that come with being gay. Over the years, I have received an array of questions about my sexuality, and here are some of the best/most common ones I have answered.
Question: So how long have you been a lesbian?
Answer I want to give: About the same amount of time that you’ve been a moron.
Answer I actually give: Well, I was born gay, but I started to experiment and understand more in high school.
Question: Wait, so do you like being gay?
Answer I want to give: About as much as I like this conversation…
Answer I actually give: Yes! I love who I am, who I represent, and who I have become. Being a lesbian does not define me, however it has shaped me into the person I am today, and I know I would be a completely different person if I did not embrace who I was.
Question: How do you have sex? Do you just scissor? Do you use a strap-on?
Answer I want to give: I’m gonna use scissors to cut up your face if you don’t shut up…
Answer I actually give: In my opinion, having sex is reaching climax via oral or other stimulation. Scissoring can be enjoyable, but it is not the most common way two women have sex. I personally have never used a strap-on, and again it is not the most common way lesbians have sex, however people do use strap-ons and other toys.
Question: Do you prefer breasts or butt?
Answer I want to give: Both
Answer I actually give: Her smile…
Question: How do you not find yourself attracted to men?
Answer I want to give: Because penis frightens me.
Answer I actually give: I am physically attracted to men the same way straight women are attracted to other women. I acknowledge that there are attractive men in the world, and I understand that other people see them sexually. However, I do not see myself being intimate with a man, the same way a straight woman would not be intimate with another woman.
Question: Wait, why don’t you look like a lesbian?
Answer I want to give: How about I tattoo a rainbow on my forehead?
Answer I actually give: Well, all lesbians have different looks. Though stereotypically, when someone hears the word “lesbian,” they think of short hair, tattoos, and men’s clothing, not all gay women look like that. I happen to enjoy looking feminine and am attracted to other women who are feminine.
Question: So, are you a pescatarian?
Answer I want to give: Because I’m gay I have to like fish? Really?
Answer I actually give: Nope! I eat all meat except fish, actually. I do not like fish at all.
Question: Do you want to have a threesome?
Answer I want to give: Does it include Mila Kunis and Olivia Wilde? If so, then yes.
Answer I actually give: No, but thank you for the offer.
Question: How long did you play softball for?
Answer I want to give: Are you serious…
Answer I actually give: 6 years!
Question: So… do you think I’m attractive?
Answer I want to give: I am not a horny college boy. I do not want every girl that passes by me. #chill
Answer I actually give: Well, you are very pretty, but I do not see you in that way!
By: Megan Bloomfield