Sex + Relationships

Staying True to Yourself in a Relationship

While it is said that opposites attract, successful couples have overlapping values and qualities that make the relationship work. It is extremely important that there is a reciprocated amount of give and take in any relationship, whether it’s romantic or simply a friendship. Why waste your time defending someone who doesn’t bother to go to the same lengths for you? Finding a balance through compromise is important, but don’t be afraid to stand up for your happiness and the things that are important to you. Solidify the things that you value the most, and decide beforehand what is and is not comprisable.

Important aspects to keep in mind:

Maintain your independence. Over the years, I’ve watched countless friends end up in relationships where they progressively become attached to the hip with their partners. If you are in a stable, loving relationship, you should be able to live life outside of that relationship. This means having the independence to attend events alone, to be able to hang out with friends without texting or obsessing over your boyfriend or girlfriend, and making important life decisions based on what you Yes, it is important to compromise, but when it comes down to it, your significant other should never stop you from being the best possible version of yourself that you can be. In fact, your significant other should bring the best out in you, and inspire you to try new things. The healthiest kind of relationships push one another outside of their comfort zones and shape each other into stronger, more open-minded people.

Don’t ditch your friends. To elaborate further, I cannot stress enough how important it is to maintain strong relationships with your friends if you are in a relationship. Don’t be that person who is so dependent on their significant other that they can’t call a friend one-on-one to hang out. Make it a point to call up your friends on a regular basis whether it’s for a quick cup of coffee or a night out.

Trust. If you do not trust your significant other to go out to a party without hooking up with someone else, you need to do some serious re-evaluating in your relationship. Ladies, if you ever let your partner dictate what you’re “allowed” to wear or who you can be friends with, please take a step back and consider your happiness. Are you doing these things solely to make him/her happy or are you doing these things for you? Please understand that you have the power to make choices independently.


By Sarah Kinzler