Feel Great · Sex + Relationships

Are You Still You?

When first starting a relationship, we all know the feeling of wanting to be with the person all the time.  It’s the honeymoon phase — the phase that makes everyone cringe when they see the two of you.

However, what happens when this phase has come and gone and you still cannot be separated?  Did you lose yourself in your relationship?  Do your friends complain that they never see you anymore or that you are always with your significant other?  Do they say you’ve changed? If so, you may need to take a step back and look to see what is happening.

It is understandable that you want to spend a lot of time with your significant other, but something that many people forget is that you need to keep your old self as well as gaining your new relationship self.  Just because you are now in a relationship does not mean you can forget who you are as an individual.  Your friends still matter, and your individual life still matters.

Just because you have met your other half does not mean you can cut off your friends.  They need time with you, without your significant other tagging along.  Set aside time each week for just you and your friends.   Also, take time for yourself.  If you like going for long runs or taking car rides to clear your mind, don’t quit just because you are in a relationship.  You need to keep your old hobbies in order to keep yourself happy and sane.

When in a relationship it is hard not to become “we” all the time, but you need to fight the urge.  It’s not that you cannot spend time each day with your significant other, you just cannot lose yourself while doing it.  If both of you vow to keep the “yous” and only be “we” some of the time, then no one loses out on their individual life.  Another thing to remember is that you fell for each other based on your own individual “yous,” so why would you want to lose them?  It can be difficult to combine both worlds, but it is possible. Once you have struck the right balance, you will be left with a great relationship that will be stronger than ever.

By Samantha Breault