General Health · Sex + Relationships · Student Life

Don’t Kill My (Sex) Drive

It’s only natural for the human body to want sex. Countless studies prove the act to be an effective way to shed calories, strengthen your immune system, and even reduce depression and pump up your mood. However, it is also natural for there to be some days where you have no physical desire to have sex.

It’s normal if your partner is simply “not in the mood” or “doesn’t feel like it” on night – but it really should only be only one night. If this lack of activity continues for more than a few days, weeks or even years, you might want to take a serious look at what could be killing the drive.

Here are three reasons you might not have considered that could be crushing your libido.

Feeling stressed out. You might think that being stressed out will make you want to have sex more because you know it releases stress. On the contrary, where women are stressed their mind is thinking about the amount of work they have to finish and is not able to shut down until the work is done. Men however, see sex as more of a stress reliever. Although it can be difficult for women, you can solve this issue by reducing your workload or putting your work on hold to enjoy some pleasurable moments with your partner.

On the pill. Surprisingly, birth control can also drive your desire away. These hormonal contraceptives reduce the amount of free testosterone – the hormone that boosts your libido. The pill also leaves out the mid-cycle estrogen peak which leads to ovulation and makes your body want sex. If you’ve had zero desire since taking the pill, speak to your doctor about other birth control options like IUDs, which are just as effective but have no effect on libido.

Feeling pain. Sex should feel good, not painful. Lack of foreplay before intercourse could be the cause, but having pelvic pain and discomfort during sex can be signs of an infection, STD, endometriosis, or even vaginismus, a spasm of the vaginal muscles. Feeling pain while having sex can become a big problem in your life, especially if it’s something that threatens your life. The best thing to do first is to try different ways to reduce the pain like more stimulation and extra lube. If these options don’t help, talk to your gynecologist as soon as possible to check for infections and recommendations on medications or strategies to make sex feel great again. However, if you continue to feel pain or discomfort it is best to seek en expert diagnosis from a sexual health specialist.

By Gilmarie Perea-Ruiz