Sex + Relationships

Dos and Don’ts of Friends with Benefits

In college, it is inevitable that you will have at least one friend that you are more than friends with. You’re not in a relationship, but you’re clearly not just friends. These friends with benefits can be rewarding, but at the same time can lead to some sticky situations.

So how do you keep the fun and avoid the awkwardness? Here are some simple guidelines that can hopefully save you from some of the messes that FWB situations can create.

Do leave time to just be friends. If you forget about the real part of your relationship – the friendship – things will burn out quickly and you won’t have much to talk about anymore. Leave time to just to hang out like you had before any of the benefits came into play. This way, if the FWB situation does end, there is still a chance you can go back to just being buds.

Don’t get clingy. When you go out together, don’t cling onto the person and ignore your other friends. Most of the time, friends with benefits should remain friends in public to avoid the awkward complications of the dreaded, “Are you a couple?” question.

Do be completely honest. If you start to hide your feelings, it can lead to some enormous fights. These fights are one-hundred-percent avoidable as long as the two of you continuously lay all of your cards out on the table. It isn’t always the fact that one person develops feelings that causes a blow up – it’s the fact that they held it in for so long and then threw it on the other person like a bucket of steaming water.

If you have feelings for a different person, tell your friend and avoid making him or her feel used. If you talk about what is on your mind at all times, it will be easier to stay rational and not blow things out of proportion.

Don’t spread it around. If news gets out on its own, that’s one thing. However, do not go shouting to the heavens, “Bobby and I are hooking up now!” As excited as you may be, things get sloppy when others start getting involved. You two were close friends to begin with, so keep your hook up and what happens within in it close too.

Friends with benefits does not have a guidebook to completely avoid every sticky situation. However, by following these simple tips you can avoid some of the awkwardness and focus more on the fun and excitement.

By Samantha Breault