Sex + Relationships

The “Friends” You Have That Bring You Down

Feeling bummed or sad lately and not sure why? Part of staying happy and healthy is to make sure you’re surrounding yourself with the right kind of people. Below are three types of “friends” who you should watch out for, and may need to reconsider if they truly deserve to be a part of your life.

1. The Drama Queen

Most girls will agree that drama is something we only like to see on Keeping Up with the Kardashians and not in our own lives. But the Drama Queen doesn’t feel the same way about that… Watch out for the friend that gets mad at you because you don’t agree with her that Bobby is so into her or claims you were ignoring her calls the other day. This “friend” can easily be spotted and dealt with. If you find yourself thinking that your friend group always seems to be in some sort of conflict, ask yourself why the last few fights have started. What’s the main reason behind all of this arguing? You might have a Drama Queen on your hands.

If you have the type of friend who ‘hates’ drama but seems to be the cause of most of it, you have a few options: either confront her, accept her, or ignore her. If you’re not willing to confront her about this, you at least have to come to terms with the fact that this is who she is and you can’t let it bring you down anymore.

2. The Mooch

Notice your bank account dwindling? Or pairs of shoes from your closet disappearing? Either you need to learn to lock your doors or you have a Mooch in your life. A Mooch can leech anything off of you: money, clothes, sympathy, and even your friends. This is the “friend” who can’t do anything for themselves, and use you for all the assets you’ve earned. Maybe it’s a suitemate who doesn’t have a job and needs to borrow a couple bucks to go to the mall every week. Or maybe it’s the girl down the hall that loves your style and has started borrowing your clothes for months at a time. Either way, the Mooch is one that needs to be dealt with before you go broke!

There is a huge difference between being a kind and generous person and allowing people to walk all over you. If you have a Mooch in your life, don’t be afraid to give a little tough love. Tell your suitemate they need to pay you back this time (and don’t give up asking them for your money back), or walk down the hall and ask the girl for your things back.. Once you start taking back control, you’ll feel a lot better.

3. The Green-Eyed Monster

This “friend” is the most hazardous of them all. Keep an eye out for the friend who is secretly jealous and envious of you. There is no shame in looking up to your friends. Your true friends are going to be naturally good people with a lot of positive qualities about them. The problem develops when you cross the line from admiration to full=on jealously. The jealous friend obviously can’t be outright with her jealously of you — 0therwise, you wouldn’t want to be her friend anymore. The reason why this “friend” is so dangerous is because the jealousy is so passive-aggressive and well-hidden. The jealous friend is the one who will purposely tell you that dress you tried on at Forever 21 looks amazing, when you thought it looked like a trash bag on you (and unless you’re Ke$ha, that’s probably not the look you’re going for). Or she might be the one who will flirt with the guy in your class you told her you thought was cute.

Unlike the Drama Queen or the Mooch, it might be tougher for you to discern if you have a friend like this in your life. As a tip, just go with your gut. If you hang out with a certain friend and feel uncomfortable, upset, or put off in any way, don’t ignore those feelings. Look into it and think back on some of the last few times you’ve hung out. This is a friend who seems like she is always in a competition with you or trying to ‘one up’ you. Dealing with the jealous friend requires you to confront her in order for their to be a change. Talking about it in a non-aggressive way could really open doors into why she’s jealous and help you two start to repair your friendship.

By Samantha DeTore

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