Sex + Relationships

Some People You Should Never Hook Up With

Ah, the beginning of the school year… a whirlwind of hormones, alcohol, and the unavoidable  “random hookup.” Sometimes it’s innocent, and sometimes you wake up and immediately feel a wave of regret wash over you.

However, as a senior, I can assure you that there are certain people you should never get involved with – no matter how convenient it is, or how much you like them, any kind of non-platonic interaction with said people will only result in awkwardness and regret. And who wants any more awkwardness during their freshman (or even sophomore, junior, or senior) year?

So no matter how many shots of Bartons you’ve taken, you should probably avoid these people at all costs:

The One Who Lives Across the Hall

You see him everyday: in the dining hall, in the study lounge, coming back from the shower. You walk by his room, and sometimes you can’t help but think about him as a little more than a friend. Well, I’m here to tell you that no matter how tempted you are when you’re pregaming in his dorm room, you should NEVER consistently hook up him. Ever.

First of all, it’s not like you can avoid him. If you embarrass yourself, or (preferably) if he embarrasses himself, you will have to awkwardly pass in the hallway and exchange forced hellos. What happens if you develop feelings for him and he doesn’t feel the same? Or vice-versa? Then one of you will have to watch while the other brings some arm candy home at 2 am, and no one wants that. I have witnessed firsthand that when the couple on your floor is fighting, awkwardness spreads across the dorm like the plague. Spare yourselves – and your floormates – the trouble and just avoid this situation altogether.

Your Friend’s Old Hookup

I’m not even going to tell you not to hook up with your friend’s ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend because you should already know not to.  When talking about a friend’s hookup, though, it’s not so black-and-white. They never ACTUALLY dated, so it’s fine to make a move on this hottie, right? Wrong. It actually might be worse to have your friend hooking up with your old flame because you were never actually official and probably never got closure, leaving some lingering feelings in the air.

A much as your friend tells you she doesn’t care if you start getting it on with her former lover, she is most likely harboring bitterness every time you go home with him. Your friend may wonder why it’s working out for you but didn’t for her, and that can affect your friendship in a really negative way. It’s best for everyone to stay away from people your friends were involved with, no matter how long ago. There are plenty of other fish in the sea (well, maybe not at Syracuse, but somewhere out in the rest of the world I’m sure).

The Kid in Your Major Who Is in All Your Classes

Freshmen and sophomores, you may not realize this because you are still taking a lot of electives, but by senior year you will know 95% of the people in your major. You will know everything about them, where they’re from, and maybe even every person they have hooked up with on this campus. Keep in mind that these people will know the same things about you.

When you see a cutie in your class, you might think it’s great to find out he is also an accounting or broadcast or sports management major. In the back of your mind, though, remember… there is a pretty good chance you will see him consistently for the next two or three years. Do you really want to remember the night(s) you drunk texted him 10 times in a row EVERYTIME you see him in class? Probably not. Find a nice guy in another major, someone you won’t have to see on those days when you don’t have time to shower and roll into class looking like you had a rough night.

The Campus Man-Whore/Frat Mattress

Unfortunately, this one may be hard to avoid because you don’t always know a person’s history when you first meet him. Nonetheless, if the person you’re flirting with tells you his name, and it’s the same name you heard on your floor from three different people talking about last weekend’s hookups… Run. You will be nothing to this person but another name on their list of conquests, not to mention you may contract an STD.

While it may be flattering to have an upperclassmen (or someone your own age – I’m sure seniors fall for it too) give you all their attention for a night, that’s probably all it will be: one night. Either that, or you’ll become a booty call.

Now you know who to avoid on the nights you’re feeling lustful. If you don’t believe me, try one of these hookups out for yourself. Just don’t complain to me if you become that girl that ends up ordering Insomnia to her room three times a week, because she can’t bare to face the guy across the hall. Trust me, it happens.

Photo Source: