My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two months now. I am always one to stand by my values, but I feel like in this relationship I’m pressured to do things I don’t want to do. I really do love him, but I’m just not ready. What do I do? I don’t want him to feel like I don’t have feelings for him anymore.
Dear Pressured Partner,
The key to any relationship is open communication. If I were you, I would be completely honest with him and explain to him what you are feeling. Especially in a relationship, you shouldn’t be feeling pressure to do things “because you love him.” If he really does love you, he will understand you don’t feel ready to move onto the next step and lighten up the pressure. If you still feel he’s pressuring you about it, its time to reevaluate your relationship.
You are allowed to stand by your values, and shouldn’t feel like you have to give them up just for a guy. Always be strong and most importantly, be true to yourself.
My house mate is going through a very difficult emotional time, and has neglected his responsibilities within our home. I always feel guilty asking him to do things because I don’t want to add more stress into his life, but I’m hitting my breaking point. There is only so much I can do to keep the house together, and I really need his help. How do I go about telling him he needs to help out more? I don’t want to add any additional stress because I couldn’t imagine going through what he’s going through.
Helpless House Mate
Dear Helpless House Mate,
Going through a difficult emotional time is never easy, but that does not mean you have to be inconsiderate to other people (especially those you live with). While you don’t want to add stress or pressure to his life, you have to be completely honest with him. Especially when you live under the same roof, you need to share the responsibilities of taking care of the house. There are only so many times you can consecutively take out the trash.
Never feel like your problems are inferior to his because each person is going to have their own individual problems. Even though he is going through a difficult time, everyone has their own challenges to work out. Just talk things out with him, and let him know how you’re feeling.
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