Sex + Relationships

Dear Eva

Dear Eva,

One of my friends had been dating this guy for a while. They broke up, and recently my other friend has been hanging out with him. She really liked him, but he decided to get back together with my other friend (his ex-girlfriend). Now I am in the middle of the situation, hearing both sides of the story. I don’t know what to do.

Sincerely,
Conflicted Friend

Dear Conflicted Friend,

While I understand you want to help out your friend, and be a support system for her, you need to realize this isn’t your problem to solve. You can never help who you fall for, so losing someone you like to someone else is never easy. There’s nothing wrong with being a shoulder to cry on, but your friend needs to realize there are other fish in the sea. And if she did feel led on, she should be able to talk to him about it.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a good friend, but you can’t feel the pressure to solve their problems. At this point, they should be able to talk it out and handle the situation on their own. Be strong, and just keep the peace.

Sincerely,
Eva

Dear Eva,

I have been friends with this guy for over a year now, and just recently we began talking and taking our relationship to the next level. While I wasn’t really looking for a relationship, I actually wanted something with him. I guess we weren’t on the same page, and now we’re not really talking. I don’t know where to go from here because I just want things to go back to normal between us. What do I do?

Sincerely,
Normalcy Please

Dear Normalcy Please,

Especially with friendships turned relationships, there’s always that “what if” factor. Because you had a strong relationship before, there’s always that risk of losing what you had. Since you two obviously have a strong foundation, I would be up-front and honest with him, and talk things out. Let him know you want to work things out, and put everything on the table.  By telling it how it is, you completely avoid the murky grey area.

You deserve to be happy, and having this lingering conflict can really be a damper in your life. By talking to him about how you’re feeling, you will either be able to figure out what you two want or receive closure from the situation, which is important. It’s always better to be honest, so let him know how you really feel.

Sincerely,

Eva

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