I have been seeing this amazing guy for the past couple of months, and I really thought our relationship was ready to become more serious. Just when I thought everything was going well, he completely disappeared. I haven’t heard from him in almost a month, and have tried to reach out to him, but he hasn’t responded. What do I do?
Dear Apparently Single,
While there are numerous reasons why your guy may have disappeared without an explanation, the main reason this happens is because he is afraid of commitment. Even though you may have been ready to take the next step, he might not have been. Commitment can be scary, and unfortunately he could have run away instead of tackling it straight on. While you have attempted to reach out to him, I wouldn’t try to contact him anymore. The more you push, the more he will push away from you. Right now, all he needs is some space. And all you need is to focus on yourself. Although this is never easy, you need to remember this isn’t a reflection on you. Sooner or later he’ll realize what he’s missing, and if he doesn’t, that shows he’s just not worth your time.
One of my best friends from school began commuting this semester. Since that happened, our friendship has began to fizzle. How do you maintain a friendship when you barely see one another?
Dear Fractured Friendship,
Going through friendship changes are never easy, but thankfully there are some solutions to help ease the tension. While your friend may not be on campus as much anymore, try to schedule a time once a week for you two to get together. Whether it’s grabbing coffee, sitting down for lunch, or watching a movie together in your dorm, have that set time every week to catch up. This will give you something to look forward to every week, and it will help keep you updated on each other’s lives. And if you don’t have time to hang out, make the effort to call each other about something random that happened in your day or send a funny text. You may be surprised, but even the slightest bit of communication will add that spark back to your friendship.
Transitions are never easy, but learning how to make it work is key. Especially because you two are best friends, accommodating each other’s schedules and planning time to hang out will help keep your friendship going strong.