Waiting My Turn
By Taylor Engler
After a nervous day during which I couldn’t eat and a 30 minute car ride that should’ve been 15 (had I not been shaking so badly I got lost), I picked up my lost-love from the airport. We were giving things a second chance – trying to see if we could put things back together after four years of being broken.
My heart raced as he walked outside the terminal and we awkwardly went in for the kiss on the cheek … slightly uncomfortable…then 5,4,3, 2, 1: full on make-out. It was like our lips had never parted. That’s pretty much how the entire weekend went – blissfully back to the way we were, even minus earlier complications and frustrations. We lay on the quad, went out to eat, and spent time with my friends who loved him just as much.
Then came D-day (departure day that is), when I made my way to the airport, blurry-eyed not with nerves but with tears – sad to see him go after such a great time together and not knowing when we could see each other again. It also meant time for “the talk” when we would figure out the next step for two people seemingly meant for each other but separated by distance.
In the end, we agreed to keep things status quo – talking everyday like we had been for awhile, and visiting each other when possible. We agreed that a time will come when we will have to make a decision to seriously be together, and likely move around the country for it, but that time is not now. Now is when we need to be selfish – he is finishing his current career and will be traveling frequently for another year, and I need to make my Lifetime-dream move to New York City to figure myself out.
But it led me to the question, how long can you wait for love? In The Notebook, probably the sappiest movie of our time, Noah waits for Allie for years, even enduring her engagement to another man. Carrie and Big finally come together after six seasons and a movie deal in Sex and The City. But that’s all on film. Do good things come to those who wait? Or will somebody else come sweep you off your feet in the meantime?
I suppose if you are holding out for someone, you simply cannot dwell on the time that passes by. Thinking too much about it can only make it worse and slow time down, and living your life for yourself in the meantime is the way to speed things up. Perhaps a moment occurs when the timing simply clicks, the puzzle pieces fall into place, and two hopelessly attracted magnets are pulled together for a final time. Until then, lost-love and I will be hovering within each other’s fields waiting for the next attraction.
Taylor Engler is a senior dual magazine journalism and anthropology major. She has written for Jerk magazine, The Daily Orange, and Zipped magazine. She has an invested interest in relationships and sex so she plans to ”Kiss and Tell” every Wednesday with the scoop on sexual and emotional health.
Her e-mail is tengler@syr.edu.
